Finding Home

This past weekend I went to a retreat, put on by our company, for MKs coming to the States for college. I went in excited to see friends, but with little other expectations. Needless to say, my expectations were blown out of the water.

The worship times we had were fantastic. It was just the worship leader and his guitar, wonderfully simple. The songs he chose were breathtakingly reverent and packed with truth. At every worship time they would turn out the lights so that we would focus on worshiping our God rather than looking around the room. I have never felt so close to God as I did during those times. It was sweet communion with Him.

Then, I was surrounded by sixty people who completely got where I was coming from. They may not have known me before that weekend, but a quick introduction and we are life-long friends. I forget how fantastic it is to not have to explain myself. To just present myself as I am and be accepted without questions. I have never been so comfortable in all my life.

There were conversations than spanned from the deeply personal and serious to utterly absurd. We talked about God, about regrets, about first loves, and about the pro’s and cons of snorting pixie sticks. I laughed hard.

Basically, I came to the one conclusion I keep coming back to. Home will never be a place for me. Home is about people. People who love and accept me, people who I can completely relax around. And I never feel more at home than when I am with a big group of MKs, finding joy in the fact that we are alive and with each other. Being with them gives me the energy to go out and find joy in the moments of my life that are not so fulfilling, to love those who don’t understand me and never will. I have a renewed sense of why I am on this earth, a clearer vision of who my Maker is. 

And that is worth every tearful goodbye I’ve ever gone through.