It’s becoming real to me

I graduate in 21 days. I turn eighteen in 29 days. I move to America in 32 days. Suddenly I realize that all the packing I’ve been putting off has to happen within the next couple of weeks. I have these moments of panic as I realize that I only have 32 days to talk to the people I may never see again and drink in Istanbul and all of its glory. I only have 32 more days to live in the most beautiful city in the world. I only have 32 more days to hold on to what has been my life for the last seven years. I only have 32 more days of childhood. Then I have to be an adult and gear up for college and get a driver’s license and look for a job.

Who on earth thought I was ready for this?

But I really am excited. I can’t wait to meet new people…to surround myself with people who are older, wiser, smarter and love God more. People who will challenge me to grow. I’m looking forward to my college schedule and to learning new, exciting things.

But….A very large part of me wants to know why I would EVER want to leave this place.